THE DAY MY WORLD EXPLODED

 

Last year, on the first day of Spring, my world exploded. My husband Vincent D’Aprile, the love of my life, ultimately lost his battle with Metastatic Cancer.  Thursday, March 21st, 2024, will be the first anniversary of his passing. While my heart is broken, I comfort myself knowing that he’s not suffering anymore, as he rests in well-deserved peace. 

Transcript of My Eulogy for Vince:

“I am humbled and so grateful by everyone’s overwhelmingly kind, thoughtful, and loving words of support. I truly believe that up in heaven Vince is relieved to know that eventually I'll be okay, because I am surrounded by the warmth of so many good, caring, wonderful people.

 You know the cliché a river of tears? With deep, gut-wrenching grief, it's an ocean of ugly sobbing. I've tried on the label Widow, and it's a bad fit. 

I feel hollow to my core. Vinnie took my heart and my soul with him when he shed his mortal coils last Tuesday night. Apparently it was the first day of Spring, and I don't know yet what to make of that. I tend to search for symbolism a lot. 

Vinnie was so special, gentle, and sweet, with the biggest, kindest heart of anyone I've ever known. Smart, and loyal, almost to a fault. And he loved me.

 He told me often that I'm beautiful. I know I'm not. Far from it. But to him I really was. You could see his pride in me, reflected in his eyes. I always felt cherished. 

I had never, ever, experienced unconditional love before we met. But for the past 30 years, because of him, my confidence grew and most days he was able to convince me of my worth. My one certainty is that what we had was special. I'm so grateful that we met. 

One of my most sustaining memories is of peeking out the window, before our first date, and seeing him skipping, SKIPPING up the street in his excitement to see me.

 This deliciously wonderful man didn't deserve to suffer the way he did these past few years. When I had Ovarian Cancer, it was a miracle because it was caught in Stage one. He was my rock during my treatment. But apparently, it seems that sometimes, no good deed goes unpunished.

 A few months after my recovery, he developed Metastatic Cancer. Thyroid Cancer, which went to his lungs. Colorectal Cancer, which went to his lungs. And just recently it went to his liver. He NEVER complained although he lived in increasing agony. He never lost the twinkle in his eyes, or his gentle levity. He fought the good fight, for so long. Perhaps too long. 

Sometimes I think he hung in there for my sake. I recently had a serious medical scare, and when my scan came back okay last week, I suspect he felt relieved, and reassured that he could finally shed his pain-wracked mortal coils, and ascend to heaven in well-deserved peace.

 I am thankful you are finally pain free in the arms of the angels. I love you and I miss you, always and forever, my darling Beshert. *Beshert is Yiddish for Destiny, Soul Mate.” 

_ _ _

When Vince was diagnosed with Metastatic Cancer, he was knocked to his knees, as anyone would be. Then he got up, and geared up for the fight of his life, inspired especially by one particular song which became his battle anthem: 

Jon Bon Jovi’s IT’S MY LIFE

 This ain't a song for the broken-hearted

No silent prayer for faith-departed

And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd

You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud

It's my life

It's now or never

But I ain't gonna live forever

I just want to live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"

I just want to live while I'm alive

It's my life

Yeah, this is for the ones who stood their ground

For ‘Vinnie and Joycie’ who never backed down

Tomorrow's getting harder, make no mistake

Luck ain't even lucky, got to make your own breaks

It's my life

And it's now or never

I ain't gonna live forever

I just want to live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"

I just want to live while I'm alive

'Cause it's my life

Better stand tall when they're calling you out

Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down

It's my life

And it's now or never

'Cause I ain't gonna live forever

I just want to live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"

I just want to live while I'm alive

And it's now or never

I ain't gonna live forever

I just want to live while I'm alive

(‘Cause it's my life)

_ _ _

Among his many life accomplishments, Vince was a brilliant chess player and strategist, a production manager and mechanical genius, and the co-owner of Pastificio D’Aprile.

 His Bench Plaque at Toronto’s Harbourfront:

It’s opposite the sign below, right by the water.

I discovered these adorable pix in his cell phone. 

Treasured Memories

Farewell my love, until we meet again.

_ _ _

Postscript: Vinnie’s fondest wish, as he told me often during his illness, was for me to find the time and energy to begin writing again. I promised him I’d give it my best shot. So please, be on the lookout for upcoming blogs about my recent exploits and beyond. During my struggles to find my footing, solo in the world, this past year, so many of our friends made it a point to drop by, or invited me to their homes, either locally here in Toronto, or as far flung as Brantford, Hamilton, Windsor and Montreal. They invited me to shows and events, to keep me from retreating into isolation and sinking further into despondency. I am forever grateful to these wonderful, kind souls. As a result, I have several upcoming entertaining stories to share with you, here in these long neglected pages. I'm inviting you to accompany me on this exciting, creative journey, because I am determined to make my Vinnie proud. 

_ _ _

 

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING 

OUR TESTIMONIAL FOR:

CCRAN – COLORECTAL CANCER RESOURCE & ACTION NETWORK

With my husband Vincent D'Aprile (Dec. 2020) my hero, my rock!

Cancer is a nightmare-adventure. I fought and won mine, while my husband Vincent is currently battling his. We believe attitude is everything, so together we tackle it with faith, hope, and love.

From 2016 through 2017 I was diagnosed with Stage I Ovarian Cancer. This involved a series of several inconclusive tests followed by surgery and 6 chemo treatments. Ultimately, I won my battle. Unfortunately, since 2018 my husband has been diagnosed with Metastatic Thyroid Cancer, as well as Metastatic Colorectal Cancer in 2020, both of which have Metastasized to his Lungs.

My husband is my hero. He dragged me to the chemo appointments I balked at, saying he wasn’t going to lose me, and we had to do whatever it took. He was right. It saved my life. But due to the current Covid-19 pandemic, I cannot go with him to his appointments, which is extremely frustrating and disappointing.

In his Thyroid Cancer battle Vince has had two operations and subsequent Radioactive Iodine (RAI) Treatments. For his Colorectal Cancer he has had a week of Radiation. Vince is currently in the midst of several ongoing chemotherapy treatments for his Colorectal & Lung Cancers. I do what I can, which generally consists of being on the telephone arranging his medical appointments and advocating for him with his medical team.

We are thankful to have discovered the wonderful people at CCRAN - COLORECTAL CANCER RESOURCE & ACTION NETWORK headed by Filomena Servidio-Italiano, President and CEO. This organization offers invaluable information and peer support. As well, during the pandemic, they offer monthly ZOOM video-meetings where the latest research is discussed by guest experts in the medical field. Impressively, CCRAN’s Medical & Scientific Advisory Board is comprised of several of the top Colorectal Cancer specialists across Canada. 

Ms. Servidio-Italiano's suggestions are extremely helpful, and when asked, Filomena actively got involved with his medical team, who clearly hold her, and CCRAN, in high esteem.

Vinnie and I are determined to ride this out to the best conclusion with positive attitudes. During these difficult times (currently amidst a global pandemic) with family and friends, and especially CCRAN in our corner, we feel truly blessed.

2015 Recap

The year 2015 was incredibly full and busy for me, which is great, and I'm truly grateful. But it was sooo busy, I barely had time to breathe, never mind tend to my blog. So I'm delighted to have finally found the time to compile all my major highlights of the year. I hope you enjoy reading about them, as much as I had a blast experiencing them. 

Here is my Wisdom of the Ages Celebrity Roundup Column which was featured in Good News Toronto:

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My 2015 'Wisdom of the Ages' Columns

Featured in Good News Toronto

January: New Beginnings, Fresh Starts, Renewal & Growth 

Kevin Frank, Artistic Director of the Second City’s Toronto Training Centre, Bianca Lakoseljac, Author, Summer of the Dancing Bear and Tenor Michael Schade of the Canadian Opera Company, share the pivotal events in their lives that turned into positive outcomes.

February: Love! Family! Relationships!

I particularly enjoyed putting this one together as it was in honour of the Famous PEOPLE Players' lovely matriarch Mary Thornton's 99th birthday, and features my talented friends iconic rock 'n roll photograhter Barrie Wentzell & singer Patti Jannetta too!  

 

March: The Wonderful World of Sports, Athletics, Fitness, and Dance 

This triumvirate of quotable notables, The Hon. David Peterson, Lorna Geddes and George Chuvalo, utterly reject the seductive siren's call of a sedentary couch-spud lifestyle.

 

April: Caring for Planet Earth

 

These notables, Hugh's Room publicist Jane Harbury,  Celebrity Chef Brad Long of Cafe Belong, and Bunny Iskov, Founder of the Ontario Poetry Society, share their thoughts on caring for the environment.

  

May:  Reflecting on Family

Listen up as songbird Jackie Richardson, vice-chair of the Toronto Argonauts Michael “Pinball” Clemons, and internationally renowned sex-educator, author and radio and television personality Sue Johanson chat about their beloved progeny.

 

June: That's Entertainment!

Entertainer and executive director of PAL (the Performing Arts Lodge) Canada Foundation's Adrian Luces, music industry icon Michael Williams,  and multi-talented singer, songwriter, and poet Honey Novick, say that as long as they are doing what they love, they have no intention of retiring.   

July: Overcoming Challenges with Optimism and Positivity 

President of Disability Awareness, Lauri Sue Robertson, internationally renowned crystal artist and photographer Mark Raynes Roberts and award-winning sculpter Patricia Goss tell us how they face life's challenges with a positive attitude.

August: 'Tis Better to Give Than to Receive

Mary Jo Leddy, the Founder of Romero House for refugees, Beloved songstress Catherine McKinnon, and Popular 680News sportscaster Peter Gross discuss what compels them to give to the charitable causes closest to their hearts.

September: Seriously, Humour is Essential for a Healthy Life

 Knock, knock. Who’s there? It’s award-winning cartoonist Andy Donato, Avery Saltzman, co-artistic director of the Harold Green Jewish Theatre, and Robin 'Zee' Zilberg who wrote and stars in Borderline Me. They explain why humour and an upbeat attitude are essential for a healthy life.

October: Rising Above Adversity With an Attitude of Gratitude 

 Entertainer Michael Danso, beloved children's author Jean Little, and radio and TV personality Gail Vaz-Oxlade share how gratitude helped them triumph over adversity.

November: Mentors and Personal Heroes 

Popular mystery author Sylvia Maultash Warsh, Lisa Cherniak the Founder of Artists Against Racism, and poet Carolyn Clink discuss how their mentors and personal heroes inspired them.

December: Three Prominent Torontonians Share Their Holiday Memories

It’s that time of year again, when many of us become nostalgic and reminisce about old family traditions. This holiday season, Toronto Mayor John Tory and thespians David Fox and Tom Melissis share some of their favourite childhood holiday memories with us.

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Exciting Times!

 
Season's Greetings! Catching up, here's what I've been up to for the last little while. It's a happy way for me to say goodbye to a very productive 2014. It's been a whirlwind of excellent entertainment, with a hearty dash of extraordinary experiences.

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My January WISDOM OF THE AGES column in Good News Toronto

New Beginnings & Fresh Starts: Renewal & Growth

Kevin Frank (Artistic Director of the Second City’s Toronto Training Centre), Bianca Lakoseljac, (Author, Summer of the Dancing Bear) and Tenor Michael Schade (Tenor, Canadian Opera Company) share the pivotal events in their lives that turned into positive outcomes.

 

My December WISDOM OF THE AGES column in Good News Toronto

 Joyful Giving: Favourite Charities of the Stars

‘Tis the season for peace, goodwill, and joyful giving—especially being mindful of those less fortunate. This month percussionist John Rudolph (Toronto Symphony Orchestra), Jeanne Beker (Fashion Television) and  Robbie Lane (AM 740 - The Sixties at Six) reveal the charitable organizations they stump for that are dear to their hearts.
 

 My November WISDOM OF THE AGES column in Good News Toronto
 What Inspires And Motivates The Stars?

 It’s a good thing that in the Creative Arts there is no “mandatory” retirement age, because as actor Sheldon Davis (Rob Ford The Musical), author Catherine Gildiner (Coming Ashore), and producer-performer Ross Petty (Cinderella) tell us, they are doing what they love. By doing so, evidently they garner tremendous ongoing satisfaction, inspired by the very act of sharing their talents.

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With Mark Kingwell

Covered the prestigious PEN Canada Benefit, part of the International Festival of Authors. Chatted up Mark Kingwell, Author and U of T Philosophy professor. The featured event was his in-depth interview with filmmaker and new author David Cronenberg (Consumed: A Novel). 

David Cronenberg & Mark Kingwell

Fun fact: I was an 'Extra' in Cronenberg's cult film RABID waaaaaay back in 1977. I was part of a horde of people who ran out of a subway car screaming, when a rabid-frothing monster-person started biting other passengers. LOL. 

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One Sunday afternoon Vinnie and I drove out to the Citadel Theatre in Hamilton with our pals Wendy & Dean. We saw Hammer Entertainment's home-grown version of The Addams Family Musical . It wasn't particular ooky or spooky, but it was definitely a kooky, slightly uneven production. Suffice it to say that I loved the 2nd act. 

With Olivia Tharme in character as sombre Wednesday Addams

Lovely young thespian Oivia Tharme was a standout in her role as Wednesday Addams.

Unbelievable, that this was only my second foray into Hamilton, after 35 years in Toronto! But I found an irresistible Groupon deal for the show, so off we went, and I'm glad we did.

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Of all the shows I've seen in quite a while, the most unique and intellectually stimulating was the Art of Time Ensemble's 'The Poem/The Song' musical experience at the Enwave Theatre at Queens Quay West. The Art of Time Ensemble's #1 fan and featured artist, national treasure Margaret Atwood read a brand new poem accompanied by original music. Among an illustrious and talented line-up, versatile singer-songwriter Gregory Hoskins entertained with a fantastic spin on Leonard Cohen's work. After the show, I enjoyed chatting with Gregory Hoskins, and Ms. Atwood.

With singer-songwriter Gregory Hoskins, and my friend Lucia

This was such a soul-enriching event, that now I am eagerly awaiting the Spring offerings of the Art of Time Ensemble, which will feature dance icons Peggy Baker (Dancemakers) and James Kudelka (National Ballet of Canada).

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Had a blast at the opening night of Ross Petty's Cinderella. As the purple-bedecked Evil Stepmother Revolta Bulldoza, he was deliciously vile. Dan Chameroy as Fairygodmother Plumbum was a scene-stealing riot. My friend Lidia and her daugher Kasia were completely enthralled and we all laughed ourselves silly over the hilarious antics of the entire cast. I was particularly impressed with the multi-media effects which enhanced this holiday production.

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It's always fascinating to see things from a behind the scenes perspective. One recent afternoon I covered the rehearsal of the Air Farce comedy troupe's annual New Year's Eve Show, over at CBC-TV.

My friend Renee joined me that evening for the actual taping. The cast thanked those of us in attendance for venturing out and braving the worst winter storm of the year to see them. It sure was a pretty Herculean task to get there that day, but seeing the show, made it all worthwhile. 

AIR FARCE cast (l to r): Darryl Hinds, Luba Goy, Alan Park, Penelope Corrin, Craig Lauzon, Aisha Alfa, and Don Ferguson

If you aren't venturing out this New Year's Eve, you can enjoy the zany antics of this legendary comedy troupe, on TV, in the comfort of your own home - regardless of the weather.

 
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 The most magical evening ever...
 

Had one of the MOST extraordinary evenings of my life tonight when Diane Dupuy and the Famous PEOPLE Players bestowed a Medal of Honour upon Youth Empowerment Motivational Speaker Spider (Chuck) Jones.  

Vince and I were special guests at the head table. I was absolutely thrilled when Diane's daughter, FPP Publicist Jeannine Dupuy, explained that one of my Good News Toronto 'Wisdom of the Ages' columns (Celebrities Paying Kindness Forward) which featured Spider and Diane, was the catalyst for this event!

 

Diane Dupuy honouring Spider (Chuck) Jones

With my husband Vince in the Famous PEOPLE Players VIP room prior to the show.

Vinnie and I in our fancy duds!

I was extremely honoured that the table-program featured my article! It was a gala evening, with a wonderful dinner and the show SLEIGH BELLS RING was a delight.  I actually found myself invited to do an impromptu hula dance as part of the show - and of course, being a good sport, I did! This clever blacklight puppet show show was nimbly directed by Diane's daughter Joanne Dupuy, FPP Artistic Director.

Pix! Pix! Pix! Pix from this this amazing event:

Special moments 

The most magical evening ever...  
Giving my speech honouring Diane Dupuy of the Famous PEOPLE Players and the honoree of the evening, Motivational Speaker Spider (Chuck) Jones

 
Jeannine Dupuy, the incredible publicist of the Famous PEOPLE Players and organizer extraordinaire of the evening, playing pugilist with the real deal - the dapper gent Spider Jones






 


 Spider & Vince: Pow! Thwack! Crunch!  ;)

Me playing pugilist with a 3-time Golden Glove Champ!!! Who'd a thunk it?

Spider and his lovely wife Jackie

Fabulous couple

 

Close-up of the Medal of Honour (front and back)

This is a condensed version of my speech:

Thank you, I am so excited to be here, in honour of two of my personal heroes Diane Dupuy & Chuck ‘Spider’ Jones! 

What a fabulous event, as we celebrate the 40^th anniversary of Diane’s extraordinary Famous PEOPLE Players, and Spider Jones being awarded their Medal of Honour. When Diane’s daughter Jeannine told me that my column was the inspiration for tonight’s gala event to honour Spider, I was absolutely thrilled. It’s moments like this that gives the work that I do true meaning.

Diane Dupuy and Spider Jones are the kind of people I look up to for direction and inspiration. They also come from Hard Knock beginnings, one way or another, and instead of taking the easy way out and succumbing to negativity - external or internal, by becoming bitter, or disillusioned, and giving up on themselves... With tremendous effort and discipline, they chose – they made a deliberate choice – to rise above their individual circumstances to follow a dream of a better life.

To me, what’s special about Spider and Diane is that when they finally did succeed, they didn’t do what some might have done, and sit on their laurels, but instinctively these very special people were compelled to share what they’ve learned along the way. It’s what makes them tick. It’s how they’re built. Kindly giving others a hand up along the way, helping others to shape and realize their own dreams. They inspire folks like the developmentally challenged, and youth at risk, to believe in themselves and to realize that their dreams are achievable too. Diane and Spider are (like the title of his book – Out of the Darkness)  a beacon of light not only in our community - but to humanity.

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As 2014 draws to a close, I want to wish you all the very best in 2015.