THE DAY MY WORLD EXPLODED

 

Last year, on the first day of Spring, my world exploded. My husband Vincent D’Aprile, the love of my life, ultimately lost his battle with Metastatic Cancer.  Thursday, March 21st, 2024, will be the first anniversary of his passing. While my heart is broken, I comfort myself knowing that he’s not suffering anymore, as he rests in well-deserved peace. 

Transcript of My Eulogy for Vince:

“I am humbled and so grateful by everyone’s overwhelmingly kind, thoughtful, and loving words of support. I truly believe that up in heaven Vince is relieved to know that eventually I'll be okay, because I am surrounded by the warmth of so many good, caring, wonderful people.

 You know the cliché a river of tears? With deep, gut-wrenching grief, it's an ocean of ugly sobbing. I've tried on the label Widow, and it's a bad fit. 

I feel hollow to my core. Vinnie took my heart and my soul with him when he shed his mortal coils last Tuesday night. Apparently it was the first day of Spring, and I don't know yet what to make of that. I tend to search for symbolism a lot. 

Vinnie was so special, gentle, and sweet, with the biggest, kindest heart of anyone I've ever known. Smart, and loyal, almost to a fault. And he loved me.

 He told me often that I'm beautiful. I know I'm not. Far from it. But to him I really was. You could see his pride in me, reflected in his eyes. I always felt cherished. 

I had never, ever, experienced unconditional love before we met. But for the past 30 years, because of him, my confidence grew and most days he was able to convince me of my worth. My one certainty is that what we had was special. I'm so grateful that we met. 

One of my most sustaining memories is of peeking out the window, before our first date, and seeing him skipping, SKIPPING up the street in his excitement to see me.

 This deliciously wonderful man didn't deserve to suffer the way he did these past few years. When I had Ovarian Cancer, it was a miracle because it was caught in Stage one. He was my rock during my treatment. But apparently, it seems that sometimes, no good deed goes unpunished.

 A few months after my recovery, he developed Metastatic Cancer. Thyroid Cancer, which went to his lungs. Colorectal Cancer, which went to his lungs. And just recently it went to his liver. He NEVER complained although he lived in increasing agony. He never lost the twinkle in his eyes, or his gentle levity. He fought the good fight, for so long. Perhaps too long. 

Sometimes I think he hung in there for my sake. I recently had a serious medical scare, and when my scan came back okay last week, I suspect he felt relieved, and reassured that he could finally shed his pain-wracked mortal coils, and ascend to heaven in well-deserved peace.

 I am thankful you are finally pain free in the arms of the angels. I love you and I miss you, always and forever, my darling Beshert. *Beshert is Yiddish for Destiny, Soul Mate.” 

_ _ _

When Vince was diagnosed with Metastatic Cancer, he was knocked to his knees, as anyone would be. Then he got up, and geared up for the fight of his life, inspired especially by one particular song which became his battle anthem: 

Jon Bon Jovi’s IT’S MY LIFE

 This ain't a song for the broken-hearted

No silent prayer for faith-departed

And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd

You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud

It's my life

It's now or never

But I ain't gonna live forever

I just want to live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"

I just want to live while I'm alive

It's my life

Yeah, this is for the ones who stood their ground

For ‘Vinnie and Joycie’ who never backed down

Tomorrow's getting harder, make no mistake

Luck ain't even lucky, got to make your own breaks

It's my life

And it's now or never

I ain't gonna live forever

I just want to live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"

I just want to live while I'm alive

'Cause it's my life

Better stand tall when they're calling you out

Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down

It's my life

And it's now or never

'Cause I ain't gonna live forever

I just want to live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"

I just want to live while I'm alive

And it's now or never

I ain't gonna live forever

I just want to live while I'm alive

(‘Cause it's my life)

_ _ _

Among his many life accomplishments, Vince was a brilliant chess player and strategist, a production manager and mechanical genius, and the co-owner of Pastificio D’Aprile.

 His Bench Plaque at Toronto’s Harbourfront:

It’s opposite the sign below, right by the water.

I discovered these adorable pix in his cell phone. 

Treasured Memories

Farewell my love, until we meet again.

_ _ _

Postscript: Vinnie’s fondest wish, as he told me often during his illness, was for me to find the time and energy to begin writing again. I promised him I’d give it my best shot. So please, be on the lookout for upcoming blogs about my recent exploits and beyond. During my struggles to find my footing, solo in the world, this past year, so many of our friends made it a point to drop by, or invited me to their homes, either locally here in Toronto, or as far flung as Brantford, Hamilton, Windsor and Montreal. They invited me to shows and events, to keep me from retreating into isolation and sinking further into despondency. I am forever grateful to these wonderful, kind souls. As a result, I have several upcoming entertaining stories to share with you, here in these long neglected pages. I'm inviting you to accompany me on this exciting, creative journey, because I am determined to make my Vinnie proud. 

_ _ _